You and Me, Forever is a “marriage book” but, in actuality, it is not! You could easily remove all the references to marriage (except the parenting chapter) and it would be a book about radically following Jesus and managing all your relationships.
This book is written by Francis and Lisa Chan. I love Francis Chan. I recently heard him speak at the Passion Conference in Houston. He was awesome. Here is a picture of him creating a brilliant “tent” analogy that has influenced me to spend much more alone time with God.
What I Liked About “You and Me, Forever”
The book emphasizes that relationship problems are typically problems with your relationship with God, which extends to any relationship (not just that of husband and wife). I believe this to be true. It is hard to show true humility in our relationships.
I realized that when I concede to someone else’s way believing mine to be better or right, I typically make a point that I am “willingly conceding”. Then I pat myself on the back and think “Good job, Andrea, you are doing great at humbling yourself!” HA! Do you see the irony?
This book presents marriage in light of eternity. It’s about the equivalent of what moms tell small kids who don’t want food touching on their plates. “It’s all going to mix together in your stomach”. In short, does it really matter? Does that argument or annoyance really matter in light of eternity.
This book promotes a constant seeking of humility and strengthening of relationships with God and each other.
What I Didn’t Like About “You and Me Forever”
This is not a “feel good” book. You WILL be challenged, especially regarding the call to missions for all Christians. Perhaps the “missional purpose for marriage” should have gone under what I did like. But here’s how the Chans and I differ:
They paint a picture of you standing at heavens gates and all of the people you’ve brought to Christ standing behind you. They specifically call out the quantity of people you’ve discipled.
I do not think God cares about the quantity. Different people take different amounts of effort to bring to God. That’s easy to see. By emphasizing quantity, we may make the error of focusing on “easy targets” to disciple.
God calls each of us to spread his love with different earthly purposes. Additionally,
we are to count everyone ahead of ourselves.
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. -Philippians 2:3
For this reason, a wife who is called to spread God’s love by serving only her husband and small family is not better or worse than someone whom works with hundreds of kids spreading God’s love. In the same way, it is not about the number of disciples for Jesus you have made but rather the energy that you put into making those disciples.
Overall, this is a great book to read. It was quick (only took about 5 hours) and it was truly challenging and very Bible-focused. You can also see additional free resources at youandmeforever.org