Faith / Uncategorized

Funny “inspirational” signs and what they taught me 


I recently saw this sign when I was out and about and could not stop laughing.

“Laugh as much as you breathe…”

PSA: please do not laugh as much as your breathe… you are either laughing too much or breathing too little.

Laughing burns a lot of calories so if you are constantly laughing then you are probably malnourished because you don’t have time to stop laughing in order to eat to make up for all the extra calories you burn when you laugh.

Also, this is to say NOTHING of sleep! You breathe when you sleep so I don’t know how to ensure that you keep laughing while you sleep so that your laughing time can be greater than your breathing time. Maybe you stop breathing for a while and continue laughing to compensate.

Nope. I just tried it. It’s impossible to laugh and not breathe. This also throws a wrench in all the times I’ve laughed so hard that I say “I can’t breathe”. Wrong!

Anyways, this got me thinking that someone had to be sitting there at some point and think of this inspirational saying and then so many people overlooked the sheer lunacy of this in order for it to actually be printed on a sign and sold in the store.

Those people clearly did not consider the meaning. This got me thinking even more.. how often do I say things that have just become habitual for me to recite without considering the real meaning?

Some examples of things I say a lot:

  • Everything happens for a reason.
  • What comes around goes around (this is just plain false but that’s a post for another time).
  • Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
  • Where is my phone? (This is just cause I lose my phone at least 40 times per day).

I also thought about the Lords Prayer. I can recite this super fast, y’all. Catholic school will do that to you. Hold on.. I’m gonna time myself.

8.22 seconds!! I can say the Lord’s Prayer in 8.22 seconds. Wow. I’m fast! I’m legitimately impressed by this. I could say it like 7 times a minute. How many times could I say it if I recited it for a day straight? Hold on…

10,511!! I could say the Lord’s Prayer 10,511 times per day since I can say it so fast. Wow!

If I said it for a year straight, that 3.8 million times. That’s if I don’t have to sleep or eat but anyways.. still it’s a lot of prayers.

Anyways, what I was saying before I had a math moment was that saying it so fast or habitually saying anything repeatedly causes me to lose sight of the meaning of what I’m saying.

Taking some time to slow down and think about the things I say is so important for me. I live a million miles a minute and it puts me in task completion mode. Morning workout? Check. Walk dog? Check. Breakfast? Check. Answer email from boss? Check. Say prayers to God? Check. Disciple others? check. Be discipled? Check. Community service? check!

You see the problem. Auto pilot (though it’s going to be super awesome when our cars drive themselves) is super not cool for my life. And I need to take active steps to remember that by thinking deeply about the meaning of the things I say and do. And I got all of that from a hilarious sign that said to “laugh as much as you breathe”… a physically impossible piece of advice.

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